Decades in the Making; God's Perfect Plan

I have an uncanny ability to recognize pivotal details without understanding their significance until later on. All I can think is this is the Holy Spirit preparing my heart and mind for God's plan as it is put in motion.

As you all know... we have our boy for the summer. I've already explained how we came to have him, but it goes so much deeper than that; it stretches decades before this moment in time. 

Here is what I know:

• When I was a little girl, playing with dolls, all of my "babies" were adopted. I don't know why, I didn't know anyone that was adopted, but each and every one of them were my adopted babies.
• I was supposed to have 3 boys. I don't know why, but I always KNEW I was going to have 3 boys. When I was told Jordan was a girl, I absolutely did not believe it. I even got a 2nd opinion, and was still doubtful she would debut as a girl. When she was born I was really confused as to how I could feel something so surely and be so wrong. 
• Justin and I attended two adoption orientations for agencies in Washington. One of the agencies offers fully covered adoption costs for children over the age of 5!! (How amazing!!) Then we never proceeded in the process. All I can say is we never felt the drive to continue. We never felt it was the time, or we were in the right place, or whatever else kept us from moving forward. When [I] saw S's hosting information pop up on a friend's Facebook, I INSTANTLY had that sense of NOW is the time, HE is the kid! And I immediately knew why we never moved forward before.
• Another piece of our move to Ohio has become clear... we would not have crossed paths with S, nor been able to host, had we stayed in Washington. This was part of God's plan that we had no idea was in the works!

So, even though I have already learned to have faith in His bigger plan... it has been amazing to see how so many little things, that I felt so deeply, have led us to this point. Simply amazing. God is good and working for us even when we can't see it. 

While we cannot promise the future right now - as there is much to do, money to raise, and government hoops to jump through - I have to rest in my faith, knowing that God has orchestrated this entire story line, and His plan is going to be even greater than I can imagine! 

Orphan Hosting: Your Questions Answered

You've heard it already... we've signed up through Project 143 to host a young man from an east European country.

Meet our boy "S"!

This is has led to MANY deep, wonderful, emotional conversations in our home and with family and friends. While we've received a ton of encouragement, even our biggest supporters have questions. Even WE had and have questions! So, let's do this.

Q: Wait... you're doing WHAT?!

A: Okay, this is more of a typical response to our news than an actual question, but it's pretty common, so I thought I would lead with it. Yes. Yes, we are. We are taking a TEENAGE BOY that doesn't have a family or a home into our home and hearts. 

Q: But, WHY?!

A: I'm going to give you two answers for this one; I encourage you to read both.

• Answer #1: Because we can. The orphan crisis is real, and we have the space, the means, and the love to give this child a summer away from his desolate orphanage. So, why not?
• Answer #2: The moment I saw this boy's photo and read the 2-3 sentences about him, I felt connected to this child. It was like God Himself was calling me to act. It was like all of the years that Justin and I have discussed how our family was going to change an orphan's life culminated to that moment, and I knew this was what we had been waiting for. If you want to talk about "God, show me what you want from me," this was a time He provided a clear answer. (It was another Divine DETour on our journey!!)

Q: So, that was it? You just signed right up?

A: Uhh, no. LOL! I'm sure Justin thought I'd grown two heads when I brought it up, but I had no reservations about talking to him about it! I knew that we were being called to do this for this boy and I was ready to open his mind to it! We spent 24 hours talking about it, talking to Jordan and Joey about it, talking to very knowledgeable friends that have first hand experience - who just so happen to be our pastor and his wife! (Double down on the "from experience" advice and spiritual/biblical guidance! Point for Krystle!) After addressing our concerns with each other, the kids and others, we decided that we can't predict the future, but we can impact it... and we were going to step out on faith and let God lead us. (I also took Justin to lunch at his favorite Pho place to butter him up!)

Q: What's his name? How old is he? Where is he from? Why is he an orphan?

A: His name is "S", because we can't publicly disclose his name, he's not our child, so we do not get to make that decision for or with him. He is 15 and he lives in eastern Europe; again, privacy. We do not know his background or what led to his current situation, we only know that he is very much in need of a family... this summer, we are that family.

Q: Are you going to adopt him?

A:  Currently, we are hosting him. This is a 5-6 week program and S will return to his native country and orphanage after our time together is up. The organization we are hosting through is not an adoption agency and we are not permitted to discuss adoption with S while he is here; nor is anyone else. That said, we are open to pursuing adoption after our summer together if we feel like it is in everyone's best interest and he wants us to! The very real fact is, he is about to age-out of the system. In his country, children are no longer eligible for adoption at the age of 16. It's also important to know that his country does not allow you to choose a child until your entire process is nearly complete and you are in country, about to take your child home. So, we could go through the entire process and not be allowed to adopt him. There are just no guarantees, but we have some time.

Q: Where is going to sleep?

A: This one is easy, to start. We are going to move Skyler's crib into mine and Justin's room for the time S is here. This will give each of the big kids their own room to retreat to if they need a break. We considered bunk beds in Joey's room, and we still may go that route eventually, but Skyler doesn't mind giving up his room. 

Q: Will your kids be safe? Aren't you concerned about having a teenage boy in the house with Jordan?

A: Valid questions; ones that we have discussed and know that others have expressed out of their love for our children. (Thank you.) As with welcoming any new person into our life or home, the safety of our children is our top priority. Children in the hosting program are evaluated and interviewed by the hosting organization. Children have to be found to be "good candidates" in order to participate in the program. We have been in contact with individuals that know S personally, and their confidence in his character, along with our presence and supervision, allow us to move forward without reservations.

Q: Does he speak English? How will you communicate?

A:  The information we have received indicates that S knows some English. The extent of that knowledge is something we won't know until he arrives. I have been trying to get acquainted with speaking/listening/reading Russian, however it's HARD! We will also be getting a lot of use out of Google Translator, I'm sure!

Q: How are you going to be able to let him go? I could never do that!

A: The 100% honest answer is... We don't know. This was Justin's biggest hang-up with hosting... not hosting a boy or a teenager... not the cost or having a 4th kid around... but sending him back to an orphanage when we have the means to take care of him here, to so easily give him what every child deserves. Jordan nearly cries every time we talk about him having to go back; that may change by the end of summer! LOL! But seriously, it's going to be rough. And yes, he does have to leave. Part of the hosting paperwork includes signing a letter of intent to return our host child. In the end it comes down to taking a leap of faith... faith that his time with our family is worth any of the pending heartache we may suffer. We cannot stand idly by, in hopes of protecting our hearts, while this child is in need of a family. We cannot sit comfortably in our faith when God calls us to step-out, trust in Him, and push past those comfort zones to know true faith and love.

SOCIAL MEDIA POLICY: We are not able to share his pictures beyond those from his hosting listing on social media. This, again, is because he is not legally our child and his country is protecting his privacy. We are permitted, however, to privately share his summer with our family and friends in person, via text or video chat, and in a "secret" social media group. So, I have created a Facebook group where you can stay up to date with our adventures with S this summer! Please send me a private message on Facebook to be added to the group - all members must be family or family friends; no friends-of-friends permitted to protect S's privacy. If you or someone you know is interested in learning more about orphan hosting, please check out Project 143.

From Routine to Radiology

On November 5th Skyler had his 9 month well child check-up. Time for measurements, vaccines, and a milestone check-in.

Except it quickly turned from a typical check-up into something more. His new (amazing) pediatrician found a small lump on the left side of his neck. She measured it at approx. 3cm by 3 cm, and referred us to an ultrasound for further information. Best case scenario, he had an enlarged lymph node or maybe a cyst that would need to be removed.

One week later, on November 12th, we were at a Nationwide Children's Hospital location in Deleware, Ohio. Justin had the day off, so the three of us did some shopping for the house, went to the appointment and had lunch together. We weren't super concerned... I mean, nothing was going to be seriously wrong with OUR child. 

Within a couple of hours after the ultrasound, our doctor was on the phone with us. We were in the parking lot of Graeter's, about to get milkshakes when she told us... Skyler did not have an inflamed lymph node. He did not have a cyst. He had a solid mass in his neck. A solid mass that was definitely not supposed to be there, and that we needed to figure out immediately. Within the next 20 minutes we were scheduled for an emergency CT scan at 9:00 AM the following morning at the main Children's Hospital campus in Columbus. Cue the tears and prayers... the day had just taken a turn and we were uncertain what that meant for Skyler.

I received another call, later that evening, with more information from his doctor. Her and her colleagues at Children's had been working together to review Skyler's ultrasound.... her colleagues in the Oncology Department.

Oncology.

Cancer. 

Our baby was being discussed by doctors that treat cancer.

We were instructed to head directly to the Oncology Department on the 11th floor after Skyler's CT scan. We didn't have an appointment, but we would be seen regardless. 

Oncology.

No appointment necessary. 

Justin's parents came over Tuesday morning to get the big kids out of bed and off to school. Justin and I took Skyler to Columbus for the CT scan; Justin's parents joining us there later. Skyler would need an IV with dye for the contrast scan. 

The scan's job was to tell us how big this mass was, and if it was tangled or connected to anything else; mainly his nerves or spine. We prayed big prayers that the ultrasound was wrong, or that - if it wasn't - this mass would be self-contained and not trying to hurt him any further.

We were able to stay with him the entire time. Aside from some fussing during the IV process, he was completely calm. He laid quietly during the scan, which lasted a few minutes, and completely impressed all of the staff tending to him. 

Next up - the 11th floor. Oncology. 

We were seen within minutes of arriving. 

His next doctor and dedicated nurse arrived after his vitals were taken, and had already reviewed his CT results. The mass was still there, but it was self-contained. It was not tangled in his nerves. It was not touching his spine. It was a solid, stand-alone mass just slightly larger than our pediatrician estimated. This was good news. (What a relative term that has become these days.) Though, his diagnosis was still unclear. He could have 1 of 3 things at this point. 

1. Ganglion tumor. (non-cancerous)

2. Neuroblastoma (cancer)

3. Sarcoma (cancer)

What a day. The night was spent mostly crying and fervently praying the most desperate prayers we have prayed since Justin was in the hospital in 2014. Our family and friends rallied around us, physically and emotionally. We weren't alone. God was going before us and our family was walking next to us.

We had our marching orders... 

Next up: Radiology.

Skyler needed a MIBG scan.

Wednesday morning - back to Children's Hospital so that Skyler could have a radiation injection. The radiation in the shot would migrate to the bad cells in his body so that we could determine where they were. (I thought it would only stick to cancerous cells, but that was not the case. All bad cells in general.) Those spots would "glow" on his scan the next day.

A wonderful thing about Children's Hospitals in general, is that everything is designed with kids in mind, and awesome people come visit them. In Seattle - the Seahawks. In Columbus - the Bluejackets Hockey team. We were lucky enough to be there for a visit.

We updated our families and sent out prayer request updates. Coast to coast this child and our family have been covered in prayer, and we could not be more thankful for that. We cried every time someone prayed for us, over us, and with us. Your love has crossed the phone lines and miles between, be it another city or another state. We have appreciated each and every one of you.

Thursday, November 15th. Day 4 at Children's Hospital. Back to radiology.

8:00 AM - No more nursing.

10:00 AM - No more water.

11:30 AM - Check-in 

1:00 PM - Scan scheduled

By noon this boy was hungry. We're talking, throwing toys on the floor Hangry. Justin had to hold him the entire time, because he really wanted me to feed him. Thankfully they were able to get him in a little early, and at 12:30 we were rolling back to the scan room.

It was so hard to leave our littlest in the hands of strangers. To watch him be sedated so that he would hold still for the clearest pictures possible. So hard knowing that we would soon find out whether or not our baby had a bigger problem going on. 

We were away from our guy for about an hour. He was crying as they were wheeling him back to the room, but stopped as they rounded the corner. Then he heard me and melted down. I was able to feed him soon and he was once again our happy boy! After verifying his urine test was run while he was away, we were released to go home. 

We thought for sure we wouldn't hear from our doctor until Friday, so we proceeded to make phone calls and send text updates. 

Just after 6:00 PM Thursday evening, our Oncology doctor called. She had reviewed the scan. She had the results.

Skyler was glowing... in 1 spot; the mass in his neck. 1 spot. There was nothing else. She said this is the best we could have hoped for today. That this is good news. This was another answered prayer! 

Our doctor's choice surgeon was not scheduled to return to work until this previous Monday and our doctor already had plans to be reviewing Skyler's diagnostics with her at that time. However, we were officially not looking at an emergency surgery situation! Skyler still needed prompt surgery, but not before Thanksgiving. 

But...

Skyler's prognosis: Full Recovery.
Answered prayer.

We have now heard back from our medical team in Oncology... Skyler's urine screening, to detect for a neuroblastoma, came back without indicators.
Negative.
Answered prayer.
At this point, it doesn't completely rule it out, but it's great news!

We have a consult with our surgeon on December 3rd, and Skyler will be having surgery on December 10th. 

All of our prayers have come to this... Skyler still needs surgery. The mass, tumor, whatever, still needs to come out. However, every test after the ultrasound has come back with the best case scenario. Our boy has the best of the worst. Our boy is being looked after, loved on and protected. He is going to be okay. 

He is going to be okay. 

He is going to be okay.

Each day we have an answered prayer.

This week we are relishing in our temporary relief that this news has brought us. We are saying prayers of praise for Skyler's test results, for his pediatrician, for Nationwide Children's and the staff we have on our team, for God watching over our baby boy. This week we are hugging and kissing and holding our little monster, and we are thanking God for giving him to us over and over and over again.

 

For those that just found out about the situation... I humbly ask for your prayers, too. Please pray for our boy, Justin and myself, our big kids, our extended family near and far, and our medical team. Give praise to God for protecting our boy and bringing us to a place where this was promptly discovered and will be treated by the best of the best.

Thank you to everyone that has lifted us up, checked on us, and offered to help. Big shout-out to Justin's parents who have dropped everything to help with the big kids, hang-out on a no school day, and be with us at the hospital. My parents and all of our siblings that have been in constant contact with us, cried with us, and been a huge support as the situation has unfolded. Our family and friends... your words of encouragement help. We are beyond blessed by having each of you in our lives and the lives of these kiddos we've been entrusted with. Thankful doesn't begin to express our gratitude. 

At this time, we will begin updating publicly as things progress in December, so that no one is receiving outdated information secondhand. Thank you all for caring so much that you are establishing a prayer and support network for us! We also ask for your understanding, as we have family that we are in close contact with, if we do not respond to texts/calls immediately. We know we are lucky to have such awesome people in our lives, and just ask for your prayers over our boy and family. Thank you all so much! 

Operation: Dream Home #2

House hunting. Anyone that has undertaken this task will surely agree that it's more fun to watch others do it on TV. Even Jordan said so! I will say, though, it's been fun watching our big kids house hunt. They each have different things they look for. They are both concerned about where their room will be. However, they each have a few things they look for:

• Jordan - 
• Library space.
• Property for shooting on.
• Room for a hanging egg chair in her room.
• Joey -
• Basement for fun stuff.
• A fireplace for Santa.
• Remaining on budget. (LOL!) 

You all remember our Orting house:

When we started building this beauty, I started a Facebook album titled "Dream Home #1". I remember the moment I typed that, and thinking to myself, "Hmm... Why '#1'? Are we planning on moving before we've even built it?" God works in mysterious ways. He already knew that wasn't our forever home. 

Fast forward nearly 4 years, and we are house hunting in Ohio. We found a house with TONS of potential! I mean, OOZING potential. I could picture the shining beauty this house would become. 

Sure, it needed a kitchen remodel, every wall needed paint, every door needed to be replaced, the carpet smelled like dog and almost every curtain rod was installed crooked. But the property was amazing, and I saw how beautiful the house could be with a lot of love and even more elbow grease! Alas, it was not meant to be. We lined up every inspection, but only 1 ended up mattering; the septic inspection. As it turns out, the septic leech bed is too close to the well; meaning that the filtered septic run-off could get into the well water. Not only is that seriously gross, but it also doesn't meet code. So, we had to terminate our contract on this diamond in the rough. 

We hit the pavement to tour more houses, while battling the house-bummer-blues. It wasn't pretty. Bless our amazing agent Carrie for remaining upbeat and reminding us that we WOULD find an amazing home! (Seriously Ohio people, if you need an agent, call my girl at Buckeye State Realty!)

Pushing on, we expanded our search area. When we pre-gamed our house search from Washington, inventory here in Ohio was much more abundant. Unfortunately for us, the market here is on fire right now and needing a 4 bedroom has narrowed our options even more. 

The new search area led us to a much newer, nicer house. Very "Washington". Lots of space inside, not so much space in the backyard. It sat on nearly an acre, however the house was right in the middle, so not such a great yard in any one place. But, oh, she is pretty! 

Side-load garage.Wrap-around porch. Sun room. Loft for the kids. Giant basement. It is a gorgeous house! Unfortunately, the sellers want top dollar for it and they apparently aren't willing to negotiate. We submitted an offer - backed by comps in the area - and they refused to even respond. We slept on it and submitted a new offer in the morning, to which they called "insulting." They are under contract on a new house, so it appears that they are going to have two homes, because we decided not to increase our offer and the house is still sitting there, weeks later.  

After the big, pretty house didn't work out, I asked Justin to reconsider another house we saw the same day, on the same road. It was a little smaller on the inside and outside, needed paint in a couple rooms, but it was very well cared for and had everything we needed. He agreed and I took Justin's parents for a look while Justin started his new job. 

It was definitely love. The house was everything I imagined our TLC house could be! After a couple of counter offers back and forth, we were under contract in a couple of days! And, as of today, the house passed inspection with flying colors! Here's the official tour!

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Semi-wrap around porch! We originally asked for the homeowners to leave the porch swing, however, it was an anniversary gift and they will be keeping it.

Can we just admire the size of this kitchen for a moment?

...

And the fact that there isn't a sink or cook-top in the island?

...

Just a little paint to tone down all the yellow-orange-brightness and we're good to go!

We have already picked out a new dinning room table, chairs and buffet to hold Jordan's china from her great-grandma Donna. :) We can't wait to start hosting tea parties again! Not to mention, fully extend the dining room table to 112 inches to see how many Detwilers (and Dotsons) we can seat at one time! 

The living room portion of the great room. I have a feeling it's going to be set up just like our Orting house, which will hopefully make it feel like home right away! We are really happy to have an indoor fireplace, so Santa doesn't have to use his magic key to get in. The bookshelves are installed, but we're going to move them out of this room.

Now that IS a great room! I can't believe we're going to have THREE kids growing up making cookies, sharing family dinners and hanging stockings in THIS room.

Since our new dining room furniture will fit in the great room, we're going to use the formal dining room off of the kitchen as a playroom for Skyler. Hopefully, it won't look like Toys R Us exploded in our living room this time around! (R.I.P. Toys R Us)

The formal living room. This room is something I was really hoping for. This is going to be our library. Most everyone knows that I'm a book lover, and that I'm hoping to raise a few book lovers. So, we are planning on moving the living room bookshelves into this room. All we need is to unpack our books and get a comfy place to sit! 

Okay, have I mentioned that my agent is amazing? She suggested this foyer overlook area for a Christmas tree! You guys. I'm totally putting tree #4 here! 

(Don't freak out! 1 of the trees is a table-top tree. Jeez, like a would have 4 FULL sized trees. LOL!)

Master bedroom, complete with walk-in closet! Big enough for a king size bed, nightstands and dresser. I never understood why house hunters want a huge master bedroom. (Can you sneak a peek of that huge soaker tub in the bathroom? It's going to be covered in dust soon! LOL!)

Extra bedroom #1 - Joey's room

This one is the largest extra bedroom, and Joey gets it this time! He's hoping to paint grey and have a huge Nerf target on the wall! I mean, of course he is! Why wouldn't he want a giant target to shoot at?

Extra bedroom #2 - Jordan's room

Jordan decided she wanted a loft bed, and it will fit best with this room configuration, plus she won't lose any floor space, so it's fair that she doesn't get the largest room. She agrees. I think she is planning on painting it a light lavender.

Extra bedroom #3 - Skyler's room

Yay for no painting! I do have a paint project planned for this room, but it's going to be a surprise!

The basement!

It's dry. It's HUGE... like there is even more space than in these pictures. We can't wait to make the ultimate game room down there! 

So, we had really hoped to find a house on a couple of acres... with trees (for the PNW girl in me). However, this backyard is huge. There's some fenced in area, which will be nice for the pups, and then a huge area past that. The kids are excited to have room for a swingset, trampoline and pool next summer. There's no way we could have hoped for a yard this size in Washington, so Justin and I are grateful to have a little more space.

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Well... there you have it! For all the stress and aggravation it's caused, that was our house hunting in a nutshell. We ended up in Marion, Ohio... I'm guessing for a reason. God always has a way of surprising me. Thank goodness His plans are always better than mine, because I could have ended up drinking filtered poo-water in West Liberty! LOL! 

I can't wait to get the first few projects done in the new house (painting the great room and moving the bookshelves) and share them with you all! Now, I'm on the hunt for a few more furniture pieces! I'm still looking for a coffee table, a desk, and library seating! Maybe I'll get that Papasan chair I've always wanted... I am concerned I may no longer be able to get out of it though! 

Be on the lookout for a Dream Home #2 Facebook album to pop up soon! Though, I may title it "Forever Home".