Decades in the Making; God's Perfect Plan

I have an uncanny ability to recognize pivotal details without understanding their significance until later on. All I can think is this is the Holy Spirit preparing my heart and mind for God's plan as it is put in motion.

As you all know... we have our boy for the summer. I've already explained how we came to have him, but it goes so much deeper than that; it stretches decades before this moment in time. 

Here is what I know:

• When I was a little girl, playing with dolls, all of my "babies" were adopted. I don't know why, I didn't know anyone that was adopted, but each and every one of them were my adopted babies.
• I was supposed to have 3 boys. I don't know why, but I always KNEW I was going to have 3 boys. When I was told Jordan was a girl, I absolutely did not believe it. I even got a 2nd opinion, and was still doubtful she would debut as a girl. When she was born I was really confused as to how I could feel something so surely and be so wrong. 
• Justin and I attended two adoption orientations for agencies in Washington. One of the agencies offers fully covered adoption costs for children over the age of 5!! (How amazing!!) Then we never proceeded in the process. All I can say is we never felt the drive to continue. We never felt it was the time, or we were in the right place, or whatever else kept us from moving forward. When [I] saw S's hosting information pop up on a friend's Facebook, I INSTANTLY had that sense of NOW is the time, HE is the kid! And I immediately knew why we never moved forward before.
• Another piece of our move to Ohio has become clear... we would not have crossed paths with S, nor been able to host, had we stayed in Washington. This was part of God's plan that we had no idea was in the works!

So, even though I have already learned to have faith in His bigger plan... it has been amazing to see how so many little things, that I felt so deeply, have led us to this point. Simply amazing. God is good and working for us even when we can't see it. 

While we cannot promise the future right now - as there is much to do, money to raise, and government hoops to jump through - I have to rest in my faith, knowing that God has orchestrated this entire story line, and His plan is going to be even greater than I can imagine! 

Orphan Hosting: Your Questions Answered

You've heard it already... we've signed up through Project 143 to host a young man from an east European country.

Meet our boy "S"!

This is has led to MANY deep, wonderful, emotional conversations in our home and with family and friends. While we've received a ton of encouragement, even our biggest supporters have questions. Even WE had and have questions! So, let's do this.

Q: Wait... you're doing WHAT?!

A: Okay, this is more of a typical response to our news than an actual question, but it's pretty common, so I thought I would lead with it. Yes. Yes, we are. We are taking a TEENAGE BOY that doesn't have a family or a home into our home and hearts. 

Q: But, WHY?!

A: I'm going to give you two answers for this one; I encourage you to read both.

• Answer #1: Because we can. The orphan crisis is real, and we have the space, the means, and the love to give this child a summer away from his desolate orphanage. So, why not?
• Answer #2: The moment I saw this boy's photo and read the 2-3 sentences about him, I felt connected to this child. It was like God Himself was calling me to act. It was like all of the years that Justin and I have discussed how our family was going to change an orphan's life culminated to that moment, and I knew this was what we had been waiting for. If you want to talk about "God, show me what you want from me," this was a time He provided a clear answer. (It was another Divine DETour on our journey!!)

Q: So, that was it? You just signed right up?

A: Uhh, no. LOL! I'm sure Justin thought I'd grown two heads when I brought it up, but I had no reservations about talking to him about it! I knew that we were being called to do this for this boy and I was ready to open his mind to it! We spent 24 hours talking about it, talking to Jordan and Joey about it, talking to very knowledgeable friends that have first hand experience - who just so happen to be our pastor and his wife! (Double down on the "from experience" advice and spiritual/biblical guidance! Point for Krystle!) After addressing our concerns with each other, the kids and others, we decided that we can't predict the future, but we can impact it... and we were going to step out on faith and let God lead us. (I also took Justin to lunch at his favorite Pho place to butter him up!)

Q: What's his name? How old is he? Where is he from? Why is he an orphan?

A: His name is "S", because we can't publicly disclose his name, he's not our child, so we do not get to make that decision for or with him. He is 15 and he lives in eastern Europe; again, privacy. We do not know his background or what led to his current situation, we only know that he is very much in need of a family... this summer, we are that family.

Q: Are you going to adopt him?

A:  Currently, we are hosting him. This is a 5-6 week program and S will return to his native country and orphanage after our time together is up. The organization we are hosting through is not an adoption agency and we are not permitted to discuss adoption with S while he is here; nor is anyone else. That said, we are open to pursuing adoption after our summer together if we feel like it is in everyone's best interest and he wants us to! The very real fact is, he is about to age-out of the system. In his country, children are no longer eligible for adoption at the age of 16. It's also important to know that his country does not allow you to choose a child until your entire process is nearly complete and you are in country, about to take your child home. So, we could go through the entire process and not be allowed to adopt him. There are just no guarantees, but we have some time.

Q: Where is going to sleep?

A: This one is easy, to start. We are going to move Skyler's crib into mine and Justin's room for the time S is here. This will give each of the big kids their own room to retreat to if they need a break. We considered bunk beds in Joey's room, and we still may go that route eventually, but Skyler doesn't mind giving up his room. 

Q: Will your kids be safe? Aren't you concerned about having a teenage boy in the house with Jordan?

A: Valid questions; ones that we have discussed and know that others have expressed out of their love for our children. (Thank you.) As with welcoming any new person into our life or home, the safety of our children is our top priority. Children in the hosting program are evaluated and interviewed by the hosting organization. Children have to be found to be "good candidates" in order to participate in the program. We have been in contact with individuals that know S personally, and their confidence in his character, along with our presence and supervision, allow us to move forward without reservations.

Q: Does he speak English? How will you communicate?

A:  The information we have received indicates that S knows some English. The extent of that knowledge is something we won't know until he arrives. I have been trying to get acquainted with speaking/listening/reading Russian, however it's HARD! We will also be getting a lot of use out of Google Translator, I'm sure!

Q: How are you going to be able to let him go? I could never do that!

A: The 100% honest answer is... We don't know. This was Justin's biggest hang-up with hosting... not hosting a boy or a teenager... not the cost or having a 4th kid around... but sending him back to an orphanage when we have the means to take care of him here, to so easily give him what every child deserves. Jordan nearly cries every time we talk about him having to go back; that may change by the end of summer! LOL! But seriously, it's going to be rough. And yes, he does have to leave. Part of the hosting paperwork includes signing a letter of intent to return our host child. In the end it comes down to taking a leap of faith... faith that his time with our family is worth any of the pending heartache we may suffer. We cannot stand idly by, in hopes of protecting our hearts, while this child is in need of a family. We cannot sit comfortably in our faith when God calls us to step-out, trust in Him, and push past those comfort zones to know true faith and love.

SOCIAL MEDIA POLICY: We are not able to share his pictures beyond those from his hosting listing on social media. This, again, is because he is not legally our child and his country is protecting his privacy. We are permitted, however, to privately share his summer with our family and friends in person, via text or video chat, and in a "secret" social media group. So, I have created a Facebook group where you can stay up to date with our adventures with S this summer! Please send me a private message on Facebook to be added to the group - all members must be family or family friends; no friends-of-friends permitted to protect S's privacy. If you or someone you know is interested in learning more about orphan hosting, please check out Project 143.

A No-Improvement Project

Not all home improvement projects go as planned. Honestly, all of the time we're just winging it when we build something or install something else. Sure, I look around, see what I like, pin 102 ideas on Pinterest, but when it comes down to it... we're not really into following directions unless they come in the box.

My favorite projects around the house are quick, cheap changes that make an impact. I like being able to use what we have before buying something new if possible. Why replace a perfectly functional vanity if it's still in good shape? All bets are off though if there's a pedestal sink though, because those things are just pointless! I digress.

I seriously hate replacing light fixtures. Unless we're talking a chandelier, which will seriously change the look of the room, or an outside light, because light fixtures just aren't really something I LOOK at. So, I try to leave them alone, as long as they are working. Well, I have a plan for the kids' upstairs bathroom, and found these beauties at Lowe's. New light pendants! This is such an easy way to update a light fixture without replacing it and getting your husband electrocuted! (I've replaced them in the kitchen of each house.)

So, I picked up the new pendant covers for about $9.00 each. I knew that I needed 3 of them, not because I counted, but because I looked up our listing photos on Zillow while standing in front of the fixtures in Lowe's.

They have a huge selection, but I thought these would be a fun change from glass. I'm planning a black and white theme in the kids' bathroom, and already have black hooks for towels and a large sign I bought from a local store. ANYWAY! I was really excited to swap these out for an instant change!
Side note: If you don't have a 3 step step-stool, you need one. So much easier than moving a ladder around and great for a plethora of projects!

Well... to my surprise... our bathroom fixtures - yes, ALL of them - are different than ones that I've previously encountered. The pendant actually has to fit inside of it and then screws hold it on; unlike most pendants where the pendant has a "screw" in the middle that holds it around the lightbulb socket.

They don't fit!! Urgh. Then, we discovered Menard's and I found some cute glass covers that were a great alternative!! And - OMG - they had the little glass lip around them that the fixture's screws go into!! AND - they were only $3.00?!

I snagged 3 and booked it home to win the battle with the light fixture!! But, I lost. The rim on these are too wide to fit inside. So, as much as I don't like replacing light fixtures... we're going to get really good at it.

Not everything goes as planned for every home improvement project. Luckily we just discovered Menard's and they have an amazing lighting section! Sorry Justin.

Our Library

I don't know about you... but Belle was one of my favorite princesses, because she loved to read. (Second only to Ariel, because she's obviously the best princess.) And I totally squealed for Belle when the Beast gave her his library!! So amazing!

One of our hopes for our Ohio house was to have a library space in our house! I'm not talking grand staircases, or thousands of books, but somewhere we could display our books and have a comfy, quiet place to read. Well, we got one and it is finished! (For now.)

The bookshelves are full, so that's a good sign, but a bad thing for future book purchases! So, I have to decide how to fit anther bookshelf in this room. I would like to put them in the cut-out on this wall.

Obviously it's not ideal to have the dog kennels in the library, but you know... real life. We don't have anywhere else on the first floor - or even the 2nd - to put the kennels. The garage is problematic, because of the seasonal high and low temps in Ohio. We are in the process of building a large, indoor kennel in the basement for both dogs to have more room, but it's not done yet. (Or started.) So, hopefully another bookshelf will live here in the future, and maybe a cozy chair or a desk for the kids.

Our sitting area kind of fell together without much planning, but it works. The love seat... oh, the love seat. This was NOT what I was planning on in here. Maybe a Papasan chair, or a chair and a half to cuddle up in... alas, the love seat won. Basically, I ordered this love seat for our living room when we bought furniture. However, it was way too small for the room and we ended up getting a 2nd full sized couch for the space. (I'll show you later.) So, I had a love seat that I couldn't return and a room that needed seating.

I bought this lamp for 75% off - $20 pre-tax - at Meijer before we even bought the house. (Washington peeps, this store is like Fred Meyer without furniture.) I've always loved hanging lamps, and I think having the lighting above the reading material is good placement. We don't have overhead lighting in the library, but we have a ghost switch that I was able to plug the lamp into, so the wall switch turns it on. Plus, I'm a huge fan of adding different textures into a room, so this fit nicely.

I also ordered the hammered brass side table before we bought the house, because I just loved it.

The Harry Potter pillow was just the perfect final touch; thank you Pottery Barn Kids sale!

The desk area really stumped me. I knew how I needed it to function, however I didn't know to translate that into actual function. The desk and chair are from Ikea; we brought the chair on the move. I wanted the biggest desk possible, and I think we accomplished that for the space.

I settled on open shelving for the wall, because it was the easiest solution, with the most versatility and storage. I decided to move the printer up there from the desktop, to open up more space. I may pop the cords in the wall, but they don't bother me much, yet. The shelf brackets were purchased on Etsy from Modern Urban Metals and are secured into studs for maximum security! I also added a couple of puck-lights to the underside of the bottom shelf for additional lighting at night, since the hanging light is behind me when I'm at the desk.

I bought the gold envelope for the command center wall originally, but I grossly underestimated the size of the wall, so that area changed A LOT as we started assembling it. I was going to return the envelope, but I decided to use it for little greeting cards to send out. (I love picking these up in Bullseye's area at Target!)

I needed a GREAT spot in my house for this famed picture. My amazing family gifted this to us before we moved. I wanted it somewhere I could see it, and not just in passing. I kept the placement of this in mind when we hung the shelves, and I'm loving the result.

Aside from furniture (not including the desk chair) and the set of animal pictures, we didn't purchase anything for this room. I have never been able to put a room together using what I already have, so I was pretty pleased by that!

Jordan and I both worked and reworked this area together until we loved it!
I bought the watercolor lion picture years ago in honor of my fierce Leo girl that passed away.

These were originally purchased for the playroom, but I thought they worked better in here.

Justin's Army retirement certificate!
And we updated the thermostat to tie in to our home security system.

Justin brought this giraffe home from South Africa!
She's tucked away in this little spot for safe keeping!

Justin saw something similar to this at the Red Plantation in Pouslbo, but decided to think about it. When he figured out he wanted it, someone else had already snagged it! So, I found this look-a-like at Hobby Lobby and got it 1/2 off. Get it here!

I wasn't sure where our wall ruler would work in this house... I made it - two houses ago - and didn't really want to let it go. I've never actually put lines on it, but we've measured many children, many times up against it. I'm so happy it found a place in our new home! 

Doorway goes into the playroom, which also leads into the kitchen, which gives our first floor a nice design flow!

Overall, this room feels the most "lived in" out of the entire house. I love that the walls are crowded and not everything matches, because this room is filled with so many of our favorite things! Touches of South Africa can be spotted, favorite pieces from previous homes, family, friends, Funko... saltwater. It's perfectly us. My library dreams have been realized!

Skyler; Post-op, Recovery, and What Comes Next

I know I've said it a thousand times, but we are truly thankful for our family and friend's support during Skyler's medical ordeal. It feels like it was forever ago that we found out about Skyler's "lump", probably because everything happened so quickly afterwards, but it's only been a little over 2 months.

He's doing so well these days that it's hard to think I was just sitting in a waiting room with Justin, sobbing, because I had handed my baby over to strangers that were going to cut him open. It was surreal and so very scary. I was expecting an awake and alert boy after surgery, just like the previous time he went under anesthesia, but that's not what happened. He was still asleep when we got him back... and he slept and slept... even after Justin and everyone had left the hospital for the night. He woke up long enough to eat a very little, and then slept some more. The next day and days to come he was still groggy and less energetic than his normal self. So, we did a lot of cuddling and chatting.

 

It's hard... as a parent you know your kid(s)... and when we got Sklyer post-op, he didn't smell the same, or act the same, or even look the same. We had to be gentler with him. We had to force medicine in him... milliliter by milliliter, for days. Everything had changed and we didn't know when we would get our little boy back.

Slowly he regained his energy, and after about day 5 he was fiestier and louder and more and more of the happy baby we've known. It took about a week and a half for him to completely come back to himself. And what relief that brought!

We couldn't give him a full bath for about 2 weeks, because of his lower stitches, so showering him off without soaking his dual area stitches is what we managed, but he still smelled of hospital. After we noticed a visible difference in his healing, we finally got in some splash time and washed all the hospital stink off!

Then, there were his physical changes... while his surgeon doesn't expect him to have a very visible scar as he heals and grows, we are unsure if he sustained nerve damage during surgery. There was one nerve connected to the neuroblastoma, which had to be disconnected for the tumor removal. A lot of kids that go through this procedure have resulting Horner's Syndrome... which basically means a permanent droop of the eyelid and shrinking of the pupil. Later on, it could mean his left eye will be drier or red, or that his sweat glands on that side of his face won't produce sweat. It was very noticeable post-op, probably exaggerated by his facial swelling. I can tell that it has faded some now. Obviously this is a small price to pay for cancer removal. As a parent though, you wonder and hope that it will not impact his vision or his life later on. He has an appointment with ophthalmology next month so that we can be proactive with the condition.

Top left: before surgery  Top right: day after surgery

Bottom left: 1 week after surgery Bottom right: today, 1 month after surgery

There's still a droop on his left eyelid, but it's definitely lessened. It's more pronounced when he is tired. Thankfully it doesn't appear to be obstructing his vision, so the precautionary ophthalmology appointment is to establish his new baseline, so that we can determine any changes later on.


So, WHAT'S NEXT?
Well... he's healed well, and with his test results showing the cancer only in the neuroblastoma, he is cancer-free at this point! Woo-hoo!! This means that he's avoided chemotherapy... for now. His treatment plan going forward is observation only. Currently, this looks like MRIs every 3 months, starting next month. He will need slight sedation for these. Then, when we get some clean scans on the books, he can be downgraded to ultrasounds only.

Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do to determine if another neuroblastoma will develop. They simply develop when nerves go haywire and don't grow properly. Skyler's surgeon basically said there's a 50/50 chance of a new growth, without any preventative measures available. Also, doctors cannot find a genetic link for these things, so there is no concern that our big kids are at risk. I asked.

For now... we are thankful that he is healthy, mending, and a typical almost-one-year-old. We are thanking God for a TON of answered prayers and taking it one follow-up at a time.

From Routine to Radiology

On November 5th Skyler had his 9 month well child check-up. Time for measurements, vaccines, and a milestone check-in.

Except it quickly turned from a typical check-up into something more. His new (amazing) pediatrician found a small lump on the left side of his neck. She measured it at approx. 3cm by 3 cm, and referred us to an ultrasound for further information. Best case scenario, he had an enlarged lymph node or maybe a cyst that would need to be removed.

One week later, on November 12th, we were at a Nationwide Children's Hospital location in Deleware, Ohio. Justin had the day off, so the three of us did some shopping for the house, went to the appointment and had lunch together. We weren't super concerned... I mean, nothing was going to be seriously wrong with OUR child. 

Within a couple of hours after the ultrasound, our doctor was on the phone with us. We were in the parking lot of Graeter's, about to get milkshakes when she told us... Skyler did not have an inflamed lymph node. He did not have a cyst. He had a solid mass in his neck. A solid mass that was definitely not supposed to be there, and that we needed to figure out immediately. Within the next 20 minutes we were scheduled for an emergency CT scan at 9:00 AM the following morning at the main Children's Hospital campus in Columbus. Cue the tears and prayers... the day had just taken a turn and we were uncertain what that meant for Skyler.

I received another call, later that evening, with more information from his doctor. Her and her colleagues at Children's had been working together to review Skyler's ultrasound.... her colleagues in the Oncology Department.

Oncology.

Cancer. 

Our baby was being discussed by doctors that treat cancer.

We were instructed to head directly to the Oncology Department on the 11th floor after Skyler's CT scan. We didn't have an appointment, but we would be seen regardless. 

Oncology.

No appointment necessary. 

Justin's parents came over Tuesday morning to get the big kids out of bed and off to school. Justin and I took Skyler to Columbus for the CT scan; Justin's parents joining us there later. Skyler would need an IV with dye for the contrast scan. 

The scan's job was to tell us how big this mass was, and if it was tangled or connected to anything else; mainly his nerves or spine. We prayed big prayers that the ultrasound was wrong, or that - if it wasn't - this mass would be self-contained and not trying to hurt him any further.

We were able to stay with him the entire time. Aside from some fussing during the IV process, he was completely calm. He laid quietly during the scan, which lasted a few minutes, and completely impressed all of the staff tending to him. 

Next up - the 11th floor. Oncology. 

We were seen within minutes of arriving. 

His next doctor and dedicated nurse arrived after his vitals were taken, and had already reviewed his CT results. The mass was still there, but it was self-contained. It was not tangled in his nerves. It was not touching his spine. It was a solid, stand-alone mass just slightly larger than our pediatrician estimated. This was good news. (What a relative term that has become these days.) Though, his diagnosis was still unclear. He could have 1 of 3 things at this point. 

1. Ganglion tumor. (non-cancerous)

2. Neuroblastoma (cancer)

3. Sarcoma (cancer)

What a day. The night was spent mostly crying and fervently praying the most desperate prayers we have prayed since Justin was in the hospital in 2014. Our family and friends rallied around us, physically and emotionally. We weren't alone. God was going before us and our family was walking next to us.

We had our marching orders... 

Next up: Radiology.

Skyler needed a MIBG scan.

Wednesday morning - back to Children's Hospital so that Skyler could have a radiation injection. The radiation in the shot would migrate to the bad cells in his body so that we could determine where they were. (I thought it would only stick to cancerous cells, but that was not the case. All bad cells in general.) Those spots would "glow" on his scan the next day.

A wonderful thing about Children's Hospitals in general, is that everything is designed with kids in mind, and awesome people come visit them. In Seattle - the Seahawks. In Columbus - the Bluejackets Hockey team. We were lucky enough to be there for a visit.

We updated our families and sent out prayer request updates. Coast to coast this child and our family have been covered in prayer, and we could not be more thankful for that. We cried every time someone prayed for us, over us, and with us. Your love has crossed the phone lines and miles between, be it another city or another state. We have appreciated each and every one of you.

Thursday, November 15th. Day 4 at Children's Hospital. Back to radiology.

8:00 AM - No more nursing.

10:00 AM - No more water.

11:30 AM - Check-in 

1:00 PM - Scan scheduled

By noon this boy was hungry. We're talking, throwing toys on the floor Hangry. Justin had to hold him the entire time, because he really wanted me to feed him. Thankfully they were able to get him in a little early, and at 12:30 we were rolling back to the scan room.

It was so hard to leave our littlest in the hands of strangers. To watch him be sedated so that he would hold still for the clearest pictures possible. So hard knowing that we would soon find out whether or not our baby had a bigger problem going on. 

We were away from our guy for about an hour. He was crying as they were wheeling him back to the room, but stopped as they rounded the corner. Then he heard me and melted down. I was able to feed him soon and he was once again our happy boy! After verifying his urine test was run while he was away, we were released to go home. 

We thought for sure we wouldn't hear from our doctor until Friday, so we proceeded to make phone calls and send text updates. 

Just after 6:00 PM Thursday evening, our Oncology doctor called. She had reviewed the scan. She had the results.

Skyler was glowing... in 1 spot; the mass in his neck. 1 spot. There was nothing else. She said this is the best we could have hoped for today. That this is good news. This was another answered prayer! 

Our doctor's choice surgeon was not scheduled to return to work until this previous Monday and our doctor already had plans to be reviewing Skyler's diagnostics with her at that time. However, we were officially not looking at an emergency surgery situation! Skyler still needed prompt surgery, but not before Thanksgiving. 

But...

Skyler's prognosis: Full Recovery.
Answered prayer.

We have now heard back from our medical team in Oncology... Skyler's urine screening, to detect for a neuroblastoma, came back without indicators.
Negative.
Answered prayer.
At this point, it doesn't completely rule it out, but it's great news!

We have a consult with our surgeon on December 3rd, and Skyler will be having surgery on December 10th. 

All of our prayers have come to this... Skyler still needs surgery. The mass, tumor, whatever, still needs to come out. However, every test after the ultrasound has come back with the best case scenario. Our boy has the best of the worst. Our boy is being looked after, loved on and protected. He is going to be okay. 

He is going to be okay. 

He is going to be okay.

Each day we have an answered prayer.

This week we are relishing in our temporary relief that this news has brought us. We are saying prayers of praise for Skyler's test results, for his pediatrician, for Nationwide Children's and the staff we have on our team, for God watching over our baby boy. This week we are hugging and kissing and holding our little monster, and we are thanking God for giving him to us over and over and over again.

 

For those that just found out about the situation... I humbly ask for your prayers, too. Please pray for our boy, Justin and myself, our big kids, our extended family near and far, and our medical team. Give praise to God for protecting our boy and bringing us to a place where this was promptly discovered and will be treated by the best of the best.

Thank you to everyone that has lifted us up, checked on us, and offered to help. Big shout-out to Justin's parents who have dropped everything to help with the big kids, hang-out on a no school day, and be with us at the hospital. My parents and all of our siblings that have been in constant contact with us, cried with us, and been a huge support as the situation has unfolded. Our family and friends... your words of encouragement help. We are beyond blessed by having each of you in our lives and the lives of these kiddos we've been entrusted with. Thankful doesn't begin to express our gratitude. 

At this time, we will begin updating publicly as things progress in December, so that no one is receiving outdated information secondhand. Thank you all for caring so much that you are establishing a prayer and support network for us! We also ask for your understanding, as we have family that we are in close contact with, if we do not respond to texts/calls immediately. We know we are lucky to have such awesome people in our lives, and just ask for your prayers over our boy and family. Thank you all so much!